Ashes to Ashes

Mortal Reminders
[Hold up gold tube] Anyone know what this is? This is a burial record holder. Long ago, when a funeral took a casket to the cemetery, this was a part of the luggage. It went with the casket, and inside was the information about the person, casket, and plot.

It was given to me by a funeral director as a gift because he saw that I was always looking for dirt. You see I put dirt in here to take to graveside services, so when you die and I do your funeral, I will take dirt from this receptacle, pour it over your casket and say, “We commit this body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust.”

Ash Wednesday is an odd day. Christians around the world take a moment to stop and remember: “I am going to die. My days are numbered.” You and I came from the earth, and to the earth we will go. It’s pretty sobering.

I will never forget the first time I put ashes on someone’s forehead, someone I knew, someone I sat with as their spouse had surgery, someone who prayed for me before every Sunday worship service, I’ll never forget thinking as I made the Ash Cross: God, I’m telling this person they’re going to die!

Fast forward a couple of years, and my wife came forward with our son. It truly was all I could do to smear ashes on my boy’s head and get those ancient words out, “Remember, from dust you came, to dust you shall return. Repent and believe the Gospel.”

So why do we do this?


Numbered Days
We do this because our days are numbered. We have approximately 26,000 days to live. It sounds like a huge number, but when you consider that at only 33, I’ve lived 12, 174 of those days, nearly half, it doesn’t look like so many...and when one of those days is over, it’s gone...There’s no getting it back.

We have so many ways to dull that reality: TV, make-up, cosmetic surgery, games, sports, beer, drugs, relationships, even religion.

But the reality is: Our days are numbered. When Jesus came he invited us to live the abundant life, and living the abundant life means living intentionally, deliberately, thoughtfully, faithfully.

This day we make the sign of the cross in ashes to symbolize our mortality and frailties. The dust and ashes are a sign to us that we will someday die. They are a reminder to us to live each day to its fullest. What is important? What do we want to live for? What do we believe? What do we want to accomplish? What legacy do we want to leave? The dust and ashes bring these to mind...

But we the ashes also remind us of our sins, our failures, our shames, our regrets, our pains, and our sorrows. In the ancient world covering oneself with ashes was a sign of sorrow, humility, and repentence. A loaded word, repentence, means nothing more than “Turning around.”

And so the ashes are made in a cross, the symbol of the God who lived, and breathed, and died with us. The symbol of the empty tomb, and the symbol of Christ’s victory over sin, death, and the grave.

In amazing irony, the ashes reflect God’s exchanging death for life, sin for forgiveness, regrets for joy. This sign is a sign of hope to those who believe in God through Christ Jesus. It is the sign of new life...not just in eternity, but right now.


Living Signs
So we hear the words of Isaiah tonight, admonishing us not to just play at the religious game, but to go out and life the crucified life.

For the next 40 days, we are to take a special time to reflect and hear God’s calling in our lives.

This Lenten season, God invites us all to a fast of addition. A fast of righteousness. The Isaiah 58 fast: This Lent I encourage you not to just subtract or fast from something, but to add something to your life.

Call it a fast, call it reflection time. In our church we’ll be calling it 40 for 40, reflecting 40 minutes for 40 days You can call it whatever you want. but I invite you to give to others by sacrificing our most precious possession: Time.

Take some time to give. Take some time to love. Take some time to feed the hungry, clothe the destitute, heal the sick, free the oppressed.

And when we do that, we will have no need for ashes. No need for sackclothe, no need for public humiliation. For then our light will rise in the darkness, and our night will become like noonday. And we will be known as Children of God. We ourselves will be living crosses of earth and ash, living signs of the hope and the forgiveness, and the love of God.

Transfiguration Sunday

I love Transfiguration Sunday...

It has so many meanings....

Jesus on the Mountain Top with Moses and Elijah, a clear connection with the OT that Jesus is the Messiah.

Jesus' Transfiguration, a symbol of the glory to come.

Peter's fully human desire to capture the moment, enshrine it and focus on the place and not the Who.

The foreshadowing of the Resurrection to come, a glimpse of glory before the darkest days ahead. A glimmer of hope in the night of Jesus' ministry. Like a cancer victim receiving news the cancer is in remission. Or that the storms are over. Or the report card with a C+ instead of an F. And those times when we feel the real presence of God working in our hearts in worship and prayer.

Moments that can change our day, week, even life. Little Resurrections of hope barging into ordinary life and changing it forever.

Bono's Interview about Christ

As you know, I'm a big U2 fan...Here is a great link to bono talking straight up about faith...This one is an absolute gem!

The Church & U2: Grace

Sermon Snip-It:

It's only been in the last few years of my own faith journey that I've begun to understand the true horror of karma [the 'baggage' of bad deeds that determine who you are]. It is to me the most evil side of religion. For its result is to wall away those that we humans deem unworthy, too dirty, too bad, or unloved by God. We wall them away, cast them aside, and pretend like they are not there...all around us. And brothers and sisters, let's not pretend that we aren't doing it, too, right here in [insert where you are]...

And that's what is so amazing about the message of Jesus: No karma. That's what's so amazing about Grace: No more karma. God doesn't hate you for what you've done. You don't deserve living in a slum. No one "earned" being disabled. Grace makes beauty out of everything. It was a revolutionary idea in Jesus' day, and it's just as big an idea today.

The Church & U2: One

Sermon Snip-It:

The number one mission of the Church is to be the undoing of Babel, the curse that made one into many. The healing that flows from the Spirit of God through the Church brings the many to One.

The Church & U2: She Moves In Mysterious Ways

Sermon Snip-It:

"The Spirit moves in mysterious ways that we can't always predict or understand, but we can rest assured that the Spirit of Power is at work and moving in our lives...."

Sermon Snip-It

From this Sunday there are some words I would like to share from my sermon...

Scripture Reading: Acts 1:1-11 (The Ascension of Christ)
Sermon: "Why Are You Standing Around?"

We aren't to be looking upward...We're to be looking forward. To be looking at the world around us, at the mission God has given us!

We have not been called to be followers of Jesus in order to stand around, sing songs, put on fancy clothes, or even to be nice. No, we have been bought with a price, redeemed, and called into the mission of God, bringing new life through Christ to all the world around us: Yes, in these walls, but also in our homes, at work, in our neighborhoods, at school, with our friends, with our family.

The Ascension reminds us that Jesus isn't here: BUT WE ARE!!! WE ARE!!!

Brothers and Sisters, we are called to be Jesus to a hurting a broken world. We are called to love with our words, our actions, and all that we have. The Body of Christ was not meant to stand around. It was meant to get busy.

Here we are. Here we remain. And, here, we are are called. Amen.

Confirmation

We just finished confirmation classes. There were three girls who survived the classes, and they did a great job. While it's about learning, it's also about relationship building...that they would feel included and accepted as practicing members of their church. I loved it because it's the only confirmation class I've led where students invited their friends to come. Fun!

So, on Sunday, the ladies reaffirmed their baptism, took their confirmation vows, and I awarded them some "presents" to remind them of who they are in Christ.

Princess Tiaras for the daughters of the King.

Scepters and Rings symbolizing that all authority has been given to Christ, and as his ambassadors and followers, we too have authority. But with great authority comes great responsibility. Everywhere...at church, home, school, work, etc.

Fruity candies to encourage them to bear much fruit.

Symphony Chocolate bars to remind them that last week we talked about God giving us a lifesong...but as members of THE Church, our life fits into something better than ourselves!

It was fun, and I hope it was a day that they won't forget for in ceremony is a truth: We all must accept Christ as Lord, renounce this world, and seek to live in love with God and neighbor. Today, publicly, they said this is what they wanted.

Ladies, may God grant you the courage, strength, and grace to live out those desires.

Easter TV: CSI Miami

I'm using this clip Sunday morning to help illustrate the historicity of the Resurrection of Jesus.

The Resurrection is not something we believe blindly; however, it is something we believe by faith. Did you know that NOTHING is historically "provable?" Prove George Washington lived without relying on someone saying he did. The first step to historical research is understanding and rating the trustworthiness of your sources.

The resurrection of Jesus is found in all four Gospels, in the Epistles, and in other Early Christian literature. Christian claims are prevalent in Roman texts without firsthand dispute. That's fairly strong textual evidence!

Post-Palm Sunday Reflections

Palm Sunday must be important. It is one of the few events recorded in all four Gospels.

What makes it so important? It is the message Jesus is sending, which is often misunderstood and too often taught incorrectly.

The story has Jesus riding a donkey into Jerusalem. The Jesus' followers and even the crowds began cheering. They were offering up the interwoven spiritual and nationalistic cheers for this donkey riding rabbi. Luke has the Pharisees telling Jesus to quiet the crowds to which Jesus responds that even if he did, the stones would cry out.

So what's happening? Let's put the story into the context in which it occurred. First, we must remember that Jesus is Jewish. Jerusalem's people are Jewish. The religious leaders are Jewish. So it strikes me that we should look at this event through Jewish eyes to understand it (which most do not ironically).

The first mistake people make is the very reason Jesus is riding a donkey. Jesus rides the donkey NOT to be humble. On the contrary, he rides the donkey to elicit praise and adoration. From the O.T. tradition, the kings of Israel rode donkeys. Yes, Zechariah has a verse about riding the donkey in humility, but the very image of the donkey is one of kingship. So, when Jesus rides a donkey into Jerusalem, he is in fact making a startling claim: He is King and worthy of praise.

The second mistake is what this does to the crowds. They are not worshiping Jesus as the Son of God. They are adoring a challenger to Rome. In Jesus (or anyone willing to lead them), the Jews saw a possibility of overthrowing the Romans. As this young, popular leader takes the mantle of leadership/kingship by riding the donkey, the people cheer for they want the oppression, the taxation, and the humiliation of Roman occupation to end. The crowds are cheering a hero-to-be. They want a military coup, and symbolized by donkey, Jesus is a tantalizing possibility.

The third mistake is continues this same theme. The Pharisees are not asking Jesus to avoid being adored. They are begging Jesus to not rouse the attention and anger of the Romans. Potential Messiahs had come and gone...each leading failed rebellions against the Romans, and each one leaving the Jewish people in a worse position as the Roman military tightened the vice on Palestine. This is, from a historical perspective, the reason why Jesus is crucified. He was a threat to Rome. The Jewish leaders were quick to hand him over to the Romans as a peace offering. What an irony for that is exactly what he was.

What is at stake in this scene is the Kingship of Jesus. Notice that this is all the Romans are concerned with during the trial and crucifixion: "Are you the King of the Jews?"

Jesus riding the donkey made that claim, and the people spread their palms out before him. Yet, just a few days later those same people were apathetic or fleeing or even condemning Jesus to death.

I cannot hold a palm on Palm Sunday without thinking of Ash Wednesday for I see in the palm waving in my hand the sin and betrayal of Jesus I have and will commit even while I wave it in worship of Him. The tension of the Sunday is hard to hold, and maybe it helps us understand the Grace we live with...for every day we worship Jesus we also end up betraying him. It's nothing new.

Creativity and Busy-ness

I have been sparse in my blogging recently...busy-ness is a part of it, but to be honest, my creative juices just haven't been flowing.

I remember one of my senior pastors told me one time that associate pastors always have more creative ideas because senior pastors are immersed in the details while the associates get to sit back and look at everything from a distance. At the time, I scoffed, but I think I'm eating some of that scoff right now...

It kinda has me thinking...what is creativity? Where does it come from? Why are there some days when it all comes so easily, when there are other days that it's impossible to pull an idea?

I think being creative requires intentional, hard work. Last week I took three days to be intentional about laying out sermon series and schedules for the year. My first day I finished one series...ONE! It was frustrating, but rewarding. I was able to take time to really think through some issues we need to deal with, how God's Word applies to those situations, how do we apply that Word, and lastly, creative vehicles to communicate that Word in tangible and receivable ways.

I stayed at home to have total quiet, total concentration, and absolutely no interruptions. It was worth it because as I went, it got easier, and soon I had until September planned out...with some nifty sermon series in there I might add!!!

Perhaps, I just need to be more intentional about blogging now!

New Year, New Plans...New Plans!?!

I like a plan. In fact, I don't do much without a plan or an idea of what I want to accomplish/do, how I would like things to go, and about how I'm going to do it.

One of the things that I like to plan are my sermons. I usually plan them at least 6 months out. I try to be flexible, so things change along the way...But, I really like to have a "Master Plan" to guide me. It keeps me on track, accountable, and I think it adds substance to the concept that we as a church are trying to align with the vision God has given our church. Shouldn't the sermon planning augment vision goals!?!

That being said and to quote Top Gun, "I'm on vapors!" I planned to the end of 2009 with an eye to use the lectionary in January 2010. However, I am going to a few days to sit down and plan out the year.

It's more than just a sermon schedule though...To do it right (in my mind at least), it has to take into account what other teams in the church have planned....UMW, Missions, Education, etc.

So, as I meet with people this January, it becomes important for all of us to be thinking ahead and asking God what He is calling us to this New Year of 2010!

Enjoying the Sermon Series

I hope it doesn't sound too pretentious to say that I'm enjoying the sermon series we're doing on the book of Revelation. It's been a while since I've dug into the book very deeply, and as theology and learning increase/change, it's fun to see it afresh!

I am in particular enjoying the book's fresh impact on my understanding of the Christian and government. It's been very challenging, scary, and confusing all at the same time.

I am not enjoying how confusing it is putting together a preterite understanding of Revelation with the idea of a Day of the LORD event. If anyone knows good books on this, let me know!

Right Idea, Wrong Media

I've posted my sermons on here, but I've never really been comfortable with it. It always seemed like something was amiss. Then, at a continuing education event, something was said that hit me like a ton of bricks...Someone was talking about putting up layers and layers of text on a website, and he pointed out that it was defeating the entire purpose of a website....to reach a post-Gutenburg generation.

Bingo.

Having a ton of text in one post of a blog isn't quite what's supposed to happen, so I'm currently asking our A/V people at church if we could podcast sermons. They've been positive to the idea, and I've been doing some research on what equipment we need/don't need. I don't think it will be hard once we get it going...

I'm excited to include our shut-ins who can't make it to church on Sunday mornings, and I think podcasting might be the best way to do that. Then again, we could post small videos of our service, too, but that would take a bit more of work each week...

What do you think? Text, audio podcasts, or videos?

Good Friday Service

Good Friday Service
with Main Street Christian Church

The service was a darker service highlighted by the Scriptures...I give no words from my sermon for I said little, and what I did say pales in comparison to the recorded words of those who knew Jesus best...

Prelude: It Happened on That Fateful Night Sara Peterson
Greeting: Mark Need

A Call to Worship: Ken Rickett
Father God, you did not send your Son so that we could keep on doing life as we always have done. Jesus’ life and death signal to us a new work in our own lives. Help us to see you at work in the Cross where Jesus took upon himself our pain, our guilt, our sin, our shame, even our hatred and violence. As we remember the blood of the Christ flowing down the Cross, God, we ask you to wash us. Make us new. Give us the courage to be crucified with Christ so that we too may have victory over sin and shame in our own lives. Write us into Jesus’ story, Almighty God. Amen.


*Meditation in Music: Old Rugged Cross UMH #504


Luke 22:39-44: Jesus prays alone
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, forgive me for my forgetfulness and the times I take you for granted. Help me to be mindful that in my sinfulness I have offended you and grievously hurt you. Have mercy and forgive my shortcomings.

Matthew 26:47-56: Jesus is arrested
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, so many times have I abandoned your teachings in favor of expediency. I have left behind all that you taught so many times and have neglected my duty to love others as you have loved me. Forgive me and bless me with your strength.


Pastoral Prayer Ken Rickett



Mark 14:61-64: The Sanhedrin tries Jesus
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, sometimes I find myself confronted by unjust accusations from people I considered to be my friends. The pain I felt was so terrible at this betrayal; yet in your case, you forgave them before they did you harm and attempted to defame you. Teach me how to be humble and forgiving, but most of all how to love so completely.

Mark 15:6-19: Pilate sentences Jesus and crown of thorns
Let us pray
Lord Jesus, it was my sins that condemned you to the cross; and I ask you by the merits of this sorrowful journey to assist my soul in its journey toward eternity. Never permit me to separate myself from you again, and help me to grow in my love of God the Father and appreciate your sacrifice for me.

John 19:17: Jesus carries his cross
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, I accept all the tribulations I will have to endure for the rest of my life. I ask you, by the merits of the pain that you endured, to grant me strength to endure and carry my cross through life with patience and resignation. I repent of my sins and ask that you help me keep from separating myself from you ever again.


Meditation in Music Cheryl Owens


Luke 23:33-34: Jesus is crucified
Silent Prayer


Meditation in Video The Cross


Sermon “Look”


*Meditation in Music: When I Survey the Wondrous Cross UMH #298

Luke 23:39-43: Criminals speak to Jesus
Let us pray.
Lord Jesus, so many times I have been so selfish in my pain that I forgot how others too feel pain. Sometimes I have forgotten to help out when I could have, and I violated your final commandment that we love one another.

John 19:28-34: Jesus dies on the cross
Let us pray.
My dying, Lord Jesus, I embrace devoutly as I behold the cross you died on for me. My sins have merited for me a miserable death; but by your death, I have hope. Let me die embracing your feet and burning with a love for you.


Meditation in Music Upon a Sinner’s Cross Choir


John 19:38-42: Jesus is laid in the tomb
Silent Prayer

Meditation in Music Jesus by Rich Mullins


Please exit in silence when you are finished praying

Holy Thursday Service

Holy Thursday Service
around Candle-lit tables for "families" to gather

Scripture: John 15:9-17
Sermon: "The Family"

We gather this evening to remember the last night that Jesus spent with his Disciples. Gathered around a meal, they cele-brated Passover with unleavened bread, bitter herbs, wine, and lamb. Leonardo DiVinci’s Last Supper has given us an iconic image of that night. We picture the square table with Jesus in the middle, the feminine John leaning on Jesus, Peter looking intense, with them all sitting on chairs.

Though a masterpiece of art, it doesn’t have much historic resonance. Jesus and his followers would have been reclined on sofa like pillows on the floor around a small table just a few inches off the ground. Though John loved Jesus as a brother, he was also known as one of the “Sons of Thunder”…To me it sounds like Hell’s Angels or something and my guess is that a dude named a Son of Thunder doesn’t look too much like Mary Magdalene, despite the controversies of the Divinci Code!

No on that evening they celebrated the Jewish Passover, a fam-ily ritual of eating a meal and reading the story of the Exodus from Egypt. How God told the Hebrew slaves to kill an un-blemished, perfect lamb and paint the wood above their doors with its blood. They were to gather their family together, and they ate together and prepared for the journey that God was calling them to take. And later that night, the Angel of the Death came and took the sons of Egypt, thus forcing Pharaoh to let God’s people go. It is a story of deliverance…when the Angel of the Death passed over.

And Jews still to this day gather together as families, they eat supper together, they tell the story of God and Moses and the Hebrew slaves…how God humbled the man who would play at god, Pharaoh, and they celebrate God’s blessing of Salvation for their people.

Passover is a big deal, and part of why it has remained a stead-fast part of Jewish faith is that it is based entirely around the family. You eat the Passover with family. It’s a great honor, too, to be invited by a Jewish friend to Passover because it means you are being welcomed as family.

That night, when Jesus ate with his Disciples…It was All about family.

This was written to a website called Adoption.com and is part of a group of parents that discusses trying to find their adopted children. Here is an exerpt:

My search has taken me to many places, some I never want to visit again. There are times that my daughters and I think that perhaps my son just doesn't want to be found. So, here again I go feeling as if I may be dumping salt in an open wound.

From there she takes time to give some specifics about the date, birthplace and adoption agency - in hopes that someone will read it - and help her find her son. She goes on –

All I want is just to know he is fine, and happy. To let him know that he has 4 sisters and a brother, 3 brand new nieces. I may not be on this earth for much longer, I have a brain tumour. I realize that some adoptees don't want to contact their birth families. I don't even need to meet him. Although that would be a dream come true. We just want him to know that every day I think of him. I celebrate his birthday each year. People want to know how many kids I have, I answer 6… Perhaps this may reach him, maybe not, but I just have to keep searching.

It's easy to read the agony in this mother's voice. To know that somewhere in this world there is a son that was born to her, which she desperately wants to meet, and has been trying to contact, but has had no luck…

A man named Mark who lives in a very white city named Springfield MO has three girls of colour. He and Karen traveled to India several years ago to adopt their daughters from an or-phanage. You'd think that cultural divide and the unknown medical history of their girls would be their greatest burden. Not so. Mark and Karen are frequently asked, "are those kids YOURS? We also get a lot of people asking, even when we are out eating as a family, are they sisters? I know what they mean, but it's obvious they are sisters now." When Mark’s daughters were small a woman came up to him in the supermarket and said "you should be ashamed of yourself, having children by so many different mothers." He replied, "It's worse than you think, they all have different fathers, too" and walked off.

When Jesus told his Disciples to gather together and prepare the Passover feast, Jesus made a statement: You are my family. It’s something that Jesus pointed out during his ministry, too. Once, he went so far as to ignore his half-brother, and say, “Those that do what I command are my mother and my sisters and my brothers.” One of the amazing statements of the Bible is that God calls us His adopted children.

Along those lines, Tertullian once said that "Christians are made, not born." In the New Testament baptism is fundamen-tally an adoption by God. An adopted child does not chose her/his parents, they are chosen by their new parents. They are MADE children of the parents. Likewise God choses us…God makes us His! As William Willimon says, "faith is accepting that we are children of God.
You see Jesus instituted a new family. A family by blood. A family by The Blood! By his blood. You and I in faith are brothers and sisters in Christ. Jesus invites us to feast as fam-ily.

Jesus’ command, his only new command, was this: “Love one another, as I have loved you.”

It is the voice of a dying parent, begging the siblings to get along after he is gone. It is the cry of every parent who sees their children fighting and hating each other. It is the very tears of God that today, the Church still fights amongst itself. Crying heresy here! Wrong theology there! Not good enough! Too liberal! Too conservative!

Here in the USofA, I see so many churches interested in com-peting with each other as they try to reshuffle the deck. Not realizing that of the 52 cards in the deck, 40 of them are still on the floor dying to be picked up.

If we are to take anything from this evening. If we are to be-lieve anything about Jesus’ desire for us, his followers, it is this: Love one another.

You and I…We’re family. Sure we may disagree from time to time, but we’re family. Jesus says to love one another. To be one. To have one faith, one baptism, one Spirit, one Lord.

Tonight let’s eat this supper in honor of Jesus, as brothers, sis-ters, family…Loving one another.

Good Sex

Sermon:"Good Sex" (preached 2/15)
Scripture Reading: Genesis 2:18-25
Scripture Lesson: Song of Songs 4:8-5:1

I grew up on a farm. A beef farm to be specific. We had cattle at our farm, my grandpa’s farm, and my uncle’s farm. Cattle were a big part of my life, but I have to admit that it probably sounds weird that umm...well, I learned sex ed. from the animals. You see when you grow up on a farm, it’s hard NOT to notice certain things happening.

I remember one time when I was little, I asked my dad, “What are those two cows DOING!?!” Dad replied, “Well, they’re playing.” That answer worked for a while, but as I got older I realized that Dad’s answer was true, they were “playing,” but it was a much different game than I had imagined.

Nowadays, Stephanie hates it because I speak of the physical dimensions of human sexuality very much like I do those cattle. Believe it or not, what we look for in mates is pretty much identical to what a farmer looks for in a breeding herd. A muscular, powerful, virile, and healthy male. Or a female with a good birthing capacity, adequate milk production, and a healthy posture.

But guys trust me, girls don’t like to be compared to cows. I know this from experience, so if you’re needing brownie points after Valentine’s Day...you definitely don’t want to say that your girlfriend has the hips of a cow. Bad move. Don’t try it.

In all reality, though, we forget that we are animals. We’re influenced by our biology, and we have certain desires that come simply because we’re human males and females...But the question is: Are we more? The Bible begins with this question, so let’s dig in and turn to Genesis 2:7.



Animal-Angel
Genesis 2:7
Dirt and Breath - Then the LORD God formed the human from the dust of the ground. He breathed the breath of life into the human’s nostrils, and the human became a living person.

We are creatures of duality. We are made of dirt and formed from the earth...like every other creature, yet unlike every other creature, we are made in God’s image and God breathed into us...and this is pretty important because the word for breath and spirit are the same in Hebrew. We are dirt and spirit. As Rob Bell says, “We are angels and animals.”

“Angels and Animals” - The cattle that I saw growing up were ruled by instinct. They ate. They slept. They chewed cud. And periodically, they would mate. The cow never thought, “Does he really love me?” The bull never feared if “she is as committed to this relationship as I am?” Not at all. When the chemicals burst forth from the cow’s brain, the time was right, and the deed was done.

But we’re different from that, aren’t we? Sex is more than just a biological instinct for us. Don’t get me wrong, it is biological, but we have some other needs and desires that are wrapped around human sexuality.

Animal-Angel
Animals?
Biology - If you doubt that biology has something to do with sex, try putting 30 15 yr. olds (half male, half female) in the same room, turn down the lights, and give them comfortable chairs. You’ll biology buzzing everywhere.

There was a father who knew it was time, so he sat his 6th grade son down to talk. He says, “Son, I think it’s time we talk about sex.” His son replies, “Sure, dad, what do you want to know?” There’s alot about sex that comes naturally because of all the instincts built into us.

Our biology encourages us to reproduce our genes. In fact, our biology encourages us to cast our genes out generously within the gene pool, if you get my drift. So when teach abstinence one of the great challenges is that we’re swimming upstream against our own make-up...our own biology. And before you think this is so terrible, it’s important to remember that it’s actually a good thing. Without this deep rooted desire, we wouldn’t reproduce and the species would die. And if the desire to share genes weren’t strong, the gene pool could become shallow and lead to inbreeding and/or poor genetic make-up.

But aren’t we more than our biology?

Control - One of the great medical breakthroughs that we’re living through is the discovery of genetic dispositions. In other words, we’ve discovered that some people are predisposed to certain diseases more than others. Some are more likely to have high cholesterol. Others are susceptible to alcoholism. While others are more likely to develop colon cancer. Alot of who we are and even what happens to us is written in our genes. But is that all we are?

Since I have the gene for high cholesterol, does that mean I just eat fatty junk food since it doesn’t matter? If one of you has the genetic disposition for alcoholism, does that mean that you can’t help being an alcoholic? Not at all. We are more than our genes. We’re more than animals. Just because I have a sex drive doesn’t mean that I have to be driven by sex. And, while this seems common sense, it’s amazing how many people don’t believe this. Critics of abstinence sex-ed programs often state, “they’ll do it anyway, so why fight it?”

What’s amazing to me is that sexuality is one area where we give ourselves over to our biology. Rob Bell points out that 2 famous hollywood actors, both beautiful, both famous for being professional, fit, and well trained actors, did a movie together. He was married at the time, and she had left a marriage.

Before long, he was divorced, and they were spending time together. Shortly, they were married, but before they were married, before he was divorced, they were seen together. They said they were just friends...well, we know better now. They’re response? “We couldn’t help ourselves.”

Two actors famous for being in shape, learning new accents and skills for films...Two actors known for spending countless hours beyond exhaustion...they couldn’t control themselves?

Why is it that we give a double standard to sex? We can control other things but not it? In all fairness, we control little of our biological urges anymore. We’re obese. We’ve ammassed wealth. We’ve built walls of safety and fences to keep others out of our stuff. We attack people different from us.

Are we animals? Yes. Is that all we are? No. God breathed his Spirit into us, and we carry within us the divine. And we are more than our biology. Be it promiscuity, adultery, or homosexuality, we are more than our genes: We are called to live lives pleasing to God. God has given us self-control. What makes us different from the animals? Truly, what makes us different from the animals? The ability to CHOOSE SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM OUR GENETIC DISPOSITION.

Animal-Angel
Angels?
Denial - This is exactly the opposite of some others’ thinking. There are others who believe that since we are spiritual beings that we should forgo the flesh...that the desires of the flesh are bad, wicked, and evil...or perhaps more positively the desires are merely base desires and not worthy of our spiritual nature.

This line of thinking encourages the denial of the flesh, the denial of urges. And herein lies the problem, it is a way of thinking that lives in denial. Instead of balancing or controlling desire, many ascetics, of whom many are religious people have taught that we should abstain from sex.


Dangerous Celibacy - So why is this so bad? What could be wrong with people advocating a broad celibacy? Well, nothing per se except when the celibacy is coerced or forced and really rooted in an ancient philosophy that hates the human body.

I think we’ve all seen way too many reports of “celibate” religious figures abusing children in their care. And no matter what any primate in Italy may say, the problem is documented all the way back into the Middle Ages, and occurs more than just in the USA.

You see when people who are not willing or able to take vows of celibacy do so, they begin to stuff and repress their sexuality...but like any force, their sexuality must come out in some form...and in these cases it comes out in unhealthy ways taking advantage of the weakest of society, children.

Or you get Hugh Hefner, the founder of Playboy Magazine. Did you know that Hugh Hefner’s parents were ultra-strict Christians. They never hugged or kissed as a family when Hugh was growing up. He was taught over and over and over again that sex was bad and dirty. So does it come as any surprise that he would grow up transfixed on the very thing he was denied? Later in life, his mother apologized for her lack of affection toward him, to which he replied, “Mom, you couldn’t have done it any better. Because of things you weren’t able to do, it set me on a course to change my life and the world.”

Don’t get me wrong, celibacy is not the issue: The issue is having a negative view of something that God created and said was “good.” Sex is not evil. Our hearts are what can be evil. And anyone who broadly teaches that our bodies or that sex is evil, well, they are promoting a dangerous celibacy that is doomed to cause problems...severe problems. Problems that are really going to hurt others.

We’re neither animals nor angels. And when we pretend that we’re either or, we get all messed up. We are in fact both at the same time, and unless we learn how to be fully human, animal and spirit, only then will be able to live out our sexuallity the way God intended. Only then will we be comfortable in our own skin...That’ s right the key to being sexy is learning how to be human, the animal and spirit of God together.

Good Sex
1 Timothy 4:1-5 - Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and teachings that come from demons. These people are hypocrites and liars, and their consciences are dead. They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain kinds of foods. But God created those foods to be eaten with thanks by faithful people who know the truth. Since everything God created is good, we should not reject any of it but receive it with thanks. For we know it is made acceptable by the word of God and prayer.

Hidden Sources - We have to be careful where our views of sex are coming from. Roman Stoicism and Greek asceticism are largely responsible for Christianity’s negative view toward sex. Our Jewish or OT heritage is largely positive on the subject. The NT has mixed statements, which means we have to dig deeper and work harder to figure it all out.

The Easy Way Out - Avoidance - But it’s always easier and more expedient when we have an agenda to just avoid an issue.

Sacred by the Word of God & Prayer - This is why we’re talking about this. Sex and its many issues within our culture are too big to ignore. God’s word says that we have to search through Scriptures in prayer with God finding what God would have for us and our sexuality.

When Sex Is Bad

The 3 P’s
Prostitution - 1 Cor. 6:12-20 - giving of ourselves in order to get something else in return. People prostitute themselves all the time...it’s just that the currency changes. It might be sex for love or sex for gifts and stuff or sex for power and fame. Unfortunately, too many people have a narrow definition of what it means to give yourself as a commodity of exchange.

Porn - Matt. 5:27-30 - Lust, dreaming of others, wanting what you can’t have, porn is one of the most profitable industries in the USA. XXXchurch.com

Promiscuity - Col. 3:5-6 - Just feeding your stomach. Doing it for the simple reason that it feels good.

Person vs. Object - objectifying others or yourself

Good Sex
What makes Sex Good?
Love - Eph. 5:25 - Love as Christ loved the Church - remind marriage as the model for God’s love in the world. A self-giving love...not a self-taking love.

Unity - Gen. 2:23-25 - One Flesh, Good sex, beautiful sex is within the confines of a committed loving marriage relationship.

Enjoying Naked - Prov. 5:18-20 - We must learn to enjoy the physical experiences of sex. And I know that this is a very difficult task. It will take a lot of effort, I know. But notice this comes after Love and Unity because ALL, and I mean ALL scientific evidence clearly states that sex is best in the midst of a committed, longterm marriage.

Enjoying being open and honest, vulnerable, and safe. Enjoy being captivated by someone and captivating someone else.

We’re neither animals nor angels. We’re human, and for us sex is good because God made it and God is good. So as your pastor, I encourage everyone to have Good Sex...and not settle for anything less...don’t settle for less...for to settle on anything less is to deny your humanity...and what you were made for. We were made to be in committed relationships and to experience love and unity of spirit and heart and soul. We were meant to be naked and unashamed, one flesh, and in love.

"The Desire"

Sermon: "The Desire" (preached 2/8)
Scripture Reading: Genesis 2:18-25
Scripture Lesson: Song of Songs 2:1-7

What Is The Desire
To Love & Be Loved - In the history of romance, there’s a story told thousands of times over. It goes something like this young couple’s discussion:
"Since I met you," the man said, "I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't drink."
"Why not?" she coyly asked.
"Because I'm broke," he answered.

Ishtar, Venus, & Helen - Love and desire often go hand in hand, and while we laugh at this story, we know there’s a grain of truth within it. Young men are willing to spend everything, give everything for the object of their desire.

In the ancient world, people spoke of the “god of love”, actually, it’s almost always the goddess of love. One of the more ancient stories is of the Babylonian goddess Innana-Ishtar. She was the beautiful goddess of love. Wild and fierce she was also the goddess of strife. Hand in hand with her beauty was her untamed lust for death. One story talks about her bathing in the blood of dead soldiers on the battle field.

The Greeks and Romans called her Aphrodite or Venus. She again was a beautiful goddess of love. No one knew where exactly she came from except that she came up out of the Sea...Now mind you that the Sea is a treacherous and evil unknown in Greek and Roman stories. If you look in the book of Revelation, the Beast of the anti-Christ comes up out of the Sea. So in the very conception of love, the Greeks believed that romantic love itself was born out of the treacherous unknown. To put her in an even worse light, Venus was married to the ugly, crippled God Vulcan; however, as you might guess, she was having an affair with...Mars, god of war.

Ancient Greeks and recent movies have told the story of Helen of Troy. A woman of such desire that men waged the largest war in ancient history just to have her as their own. Her love and her life was a bitter tragedy of love and death intertwined.

Humans have always understood the inherent danger of love and the desire it brings. But, even though we know about it, it doesn’t mean we’ve become any smarter about it. In fact, I believe that as we’ve traded in our stories, we’ve lost valuable teaching moments regarding a very, very beautiful yet treacherous human experience: The Desire to love and be loved.

Discontinuity & Continuity - One of the best comments that people often give their significant other runs something like this: “He/she totally gets me.” We want to be “gotten.” We want to be understood. We want to know and be known. Deep inside us a very strong need to be so close to someone, to become so intimate that we become one. You might know married couples or even best friends that complete each others’ thoughts and sentences. They’ve been together and connect so well that they seemingly think as one.

Conversely, in marital counseling, I’ve heard such things as “She just doesn’t get it.” “I don’t even know him.” “We have separate lives.” The opposite, these statements are the shared longing for a connection that’s just not there. What they want so desperately is to be united, to be one.

In an excellent article to which I am greatly indebted, Kyle Keefer and Tod Linafelt compare the works of Georges Batailles, the movie Breaking Waves, and the Song of Songs. The article points out that all three are trying to work through one of the frustrating treasures of human existence. Continuity & Discontinuity. The desire to become one.

As I’m sure you all have realized by now, we are separate beings. I am different from you. You are different from me. And you are different from you [point from one person to another]. They call it Discontinuity. We have a discontinuity of being. We are separate, different. We don’t share the same exact feelings, thoughts, experiences, and desires. I am unique. You are unique. This discontinuity is a fundamental part of our individualism, and while it does make us unique and special, it is also the source of our loneliness.

We long to be REALLY connected to something, to someone. We want for someone to understand how we feel, how we work. We want someone who “gets us.” As I said before, we want to be gotten. To have unity is what [author] calls continuity.

Desire, yes, desire itself comes from this experience. You see each of us experiences on a daily basis discontinuity, yet, we hope and want and we desire to have continuity, to be united, to be one with someone else.

God, Sex, & Death - Two weeks ago, I spent some time sharing how God and Sexuality were connected, and today, again, we see them intersect. You see our desire to connect, our desire for continuity finds a home in three areas of human existence.

Some look to find unity in a higher power. In many religions, people believe that the ultimate joy is finding “at-one-ness” with God. Hindus believe that one is united with Brahma, Jews, Christians and Muslims see being at one with God as the ultimate joy. I would venture a guess that many of you here today want to find a continuity with God. I know I do. I desire to experience God running all through my life.

Depending on your point of view, along those lines, there is also a unity in death. It’s something we all experience, and whatever happens in all of it, we’re brought to the same state. Now that’s a bit misleading, because some of us believe in Heaven and eternal life and even eternal death; however, in death, the very process of death, humans find connection and continuity. Who doesn’t grieve with and for a family who loses a child. Who doesn’t feel the sting of a spouse who lost their love on a battlefield far away. As macabre and odd as it sounds, humans actually experience continuity in the process of death. Later we’ll even hear the Song of Songs author compare love and death.

We also experience a taste of continuity in sex. In the awkward indignities of this beautiful, biological response to reproduce, we humans find something transcendent. The truly sensual nature of sex, the sights, smells, sounds, tastes, and feelings of the act are so exceptional that throughout history people have believed that the act is actually spiritual. That’s right, back to a connection with God.

In sex, we are totally vulnerable. We are stripped of the clothes that hide, and we unite our bodies together. The two become one flesh. It is physically, the closest we can come to being continuous.

God, Sex, & Death, 3 places we humans taste continuity in the midst of a world that isolates and separates. As we dig into the book of the Song of Songs, we find that all three are present...and that all three are NOT equal experiences of unity...though each have their place in the human experience.

His Banner Over Me Is Love
The Banner - In chapter 2 of the Song of Songs the Beloved confidently states, “His banner over me is love.” In the ancient world it was difficult for large armies to organize themselves. In the midst of the chaos of battle, soldiers needed to be able to communicate where they were supposed to be and what they were supposed to do. Banners were used for each unit. Each soldier would belong to a unit, and each unit had a unique banner. So each banner was a sign of belonging and identification.

Love & War - In a subtle connection between death (here symbolized as war) and love, the Beloved identifies herself by the Love of her Man. “His banner over me is love.” His love was sign of safety, a comfort.

Identification - Within the confines of a committed relationship, mutual identification is essential. The Genesis text puts it this way, “for this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Part of becoming husband and wife is the process of uniting two lives into one. The banner of Love hangs over a healthy marriage. Each spouse can identify themselves in the other while retaining their own identity within the marriage.

Losing One’s Self - However, the text is also clear that we are free to be ourselves within a relationship. Genesis say, “They were naked and unashamed.” Too often we scan past this part too quickly as we blush at the word “naked;” however, it’s important we pause here. For nakedness isn’t just a lack of clothing. Nakedness can also be the uncovering of our hearts and souls. The kind of relationship that God intended for a man and a woman is one where each person is free to be exactly who they are...no pretenses, no pretending, no trying to be someone we’re not.

One of the dangers of desire is the loss of self. Too often a wooing young man or perhaps a desperate wife trying to make a relationship work will give up their self. They will cover their own nakedness with the clothing of what someone else wants them to be...or what they think someone else wants them to be. Instead of a banner of Love, providing a safe freedom to be who we are, Desire can lead us lose who we are...dooming any relationship.

However, the opposite can doom a relationship, too.

My Lover Had Left, He Is Gone
“I’ll Call You Tomorrow” - I’m sure you’ve heard this phrase used before...and I’m sure you know the connotation that it carries. And too often the lack of sincerity behind it as well.

Chapter 5 - The Lover is Gone? - In chapter 5, the young woman has what most scholars agree is a dream. A nightmare to be exact. You see her Lover was at the door, but when she opens the door, he is gone. She looks and searches the city, beaten and abused by the experience, she is left alone...abandoned. Apparently, she’s heard about how easily it rolls off guys lips, “I’ll Call You Tomorrow”...but she also knows that guys sometimes aren’t still around the next day.

Too Close for Comfort - When two people begin to enter a relationship, their lives begin to touch, and as the relationship deepens, the connection deepens. Soon those boundaries of personhood begin to overlap. Our discontinuity, our very individualism begins to be encroached. However, like the young woman’s nightmare, some people get spooked. Fearing a loss of self, the moment the boundaries of self are touched, they flee the relationship. The Lover is gone, He’s not at the door, and there will be no phone call.

So where am I going with this? While the Song of Songs is primarily an erotic poem extolling the virtues of love, it also offers a warning: “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” Song of Songs is about Desire. Actually it’s about THE desire...the desire to love and be loved.

THE Song of Songs
The Desire
Our Design - The Bible is fairly clear that we were made to love and be loved. If God is love, and we are made in the image of God, then we can conclude that much of who we are identifies with love. Returning to our beginning this morning, we desire to have unity, to be continuous beings. To have the fellowship or relationship with God and others such that we “get each other.” We are hardwired for Desire...We were designed to Desire.

Who’s Master? - But, the problem is that Desire sometimes gets the upperhand. We want to be with a person so much that we’d do ANYTHING to be with them. We feel lonely, and it’s easy to fill that loneliness by spending a night in someone else’s bed. Perhaps, we don’t like ourselves, and it feels good to be wanted like he wants you...

Interestingly, Desire shows up within the Hebrew text in some odd places, and each time it is akin to being Master. After the Fall, God tells Eve that her desire will be for husband...but most scholars understand this as a statement of contested mastery in the relationship...In other words, the power struggles of husband-wife are rooted in Desire.

Just a chapter later, Cain is being told by God that sin desires to be master over him. Desire leads to mastery.

And now, in Song of Songs, we are told not to awaken love until it desires...in other words, “Be careful with love. Be careful with relationships. The Desire we have to love and be loved can become your master and destroy your life.”

Strong & Whole Self - So what do we do? Be it an unhealthy surrendering of self to the altar of desire or a fear of one’s individuality being swallowed up, the remedy is the same: Know thyself. Who are you? You are a child of God. You bear the image of God. You have worth because God made you just the way you are. You don’t need some guy to tell you that you are special...that you are sexy. As she proclaims in the Song of Songs, “I am a Lilly of the Valley, the Rose of Sharon,” the young woman is comfortable in her own skin. Tell me again? What is the definition of sexy? That’s right Loving yourself...being comfortable in your own skin.

There is little sadder than staring out across a college campus on Saturday morning...watching girls walk home in the same clothes they went clubbing in the night before. I always noticed that they walked with their heads down avoiding eye contact with other pedestrians. One night stands aren’t sexy, and there’s no condom to protect the human heart.

You also don’t need a girl fauning over your car, your money, or your popularity. Guys you don’t need a girl on your arm or in your arms to be a real man. Conquests aren’t God’s measure, and being sexy has more to do with integrity and character than muscles and sports...at least for the girl that will stay with you through thick and thin, who will be a good mother, and a great wife.

Brothers and Sisters, and especially my younger brothers and sisters, unless you are whole and healthy on the inside, your relationships will continue to struggle. If you don’t respect yourself or your body, he won’t either. If you don’t know how to let someone in your life, in your heart in a healthy way, you will always be lonely...no matter how many women you sleep with. I’m amazed by the number of people who have sex without ever being truly naked...of being real, open, and vulnerable. If you leave the Desire to be loved by God unmet, your body, mind, and heart will seek to fill it with the love of something or someone else...and it will always fail...leaving you more empty than ever.

The only way to keep Desire in check is to understand it...and yourself. We were made to love God and be loved by God. Understanding that our deepest longing can only be met in God through Jesus Christ is the only way we can find true happiness...it’s the only way we’ll be happy with ourselves...it’s the only way we can be truly naked and unashamed...and it’s the only way we can have successful relationships and marriages.

But there is also another part to this. We are made to love and be loved by others, too. And the key to loving others in a commited relationship is the big “S” word...no not that one! Get your minds out of the gutter.

That “S” Word?
Submit - It’s been said by many a wise woman: There is only one thing that keeps a woman from being a happily married wife: her husband!

The word of love is actually submit. An ugly word that has been held hostage by the ignorant and misinformed. It has a bad history within the church as it has been used to defend men’s abuse and degradation of women. What amazes me, though is how often Christians, even today, misuse the word and how it applies to a marriage relationship.

A Bad History

The Forgotten Ephesians 5:21 - the word submit in Ephesians 5 only appears once, "submit one to another." Too often the "church" has used this section to lower women's status and make them subservient to men. Still today there are "family" ministries out there that promote "women should submit to their husbands. [period]" However, the entire point of this text is to show how ALL OF US should submit to each other: wife to husband, husband to wife. Wife should respect husband, husband should love his wife and look out for her best interests just as Christ died for the Church! There's no dominance in this! There's mutual love. Mutual respect. One flesh, side from side, side by side.

The LORD Is One
Echad - In the end, all relationships are about Echad. Echad is an important word in the Bible.

The Great Shema - Deuteronomy 6:4, considered to be the holiest text by the Jews says, “Hear O Israel, the LORD is our God, the LORD is one!” The LORD is one, the LORD is echad. Echad means “one.” God is Echad. Central to the Bible is the belief that God is one.

“One Flesh” - And as Rob Bell points out in Sex God, “It’s the same word as the “one flesh” in Genesis, “And the man and woman shall be one, echad, flesh. Central to Bible is the belief that God is one, not many, and sex between the man and woman has something to do with God. Who God is. What God is like. Adam and Eve are one as God is one. This marriage between a man and woman-their having sex-is about something much bigger than the relationship itself. It points beyond them to somebody else. - to God. The point of marriage isn’t marriage. It’s a picture. A display. A window that you look through to see something else. You see our world isn’t echad, it isn’t one. It’s broken, shattered, fractured, with pieces lying all over the floor....A marriage is designed to counter all of this. NOt to add to the brokenness of the world but to add to the oneness of the world.”

Marriage: A Symbol of Hope - Marriage and sex in marriage are symbols of hope for this world. We live as discontinuous beings with a desire to love and be loved...with a desire for unity...with a desire to know and be known.

Marriage is God’s way of bringing Echad to us. Marriage and Sex are about Oneness. Desire is about Oneness. Brothers and Sisters, God’s banner over us is Love. Rest in that. Brothers and Sisters, your Desire is to love and be loved by God...and nothing else will ever come close. Nothing.

You want a good marriage? Fall in love with God. You want great relationships? Fall in love with God. You want good sex? Let God love you. You want to be “gotten” to be understood? Let God love you for his banner over us is love. And our desire is to be loved by him. Amen.

"Kissing in Church"

Sermon: "Kissing In Church" (preached 1/25)
Scripture Reading: Genesis 2:18-25
Scripture Lesson: Song of Songs 1:1-17

There are some things that are just taboo. Kristie Hall wrote this story for Parents magazine....My boss and I have 6 yr. old boys in the same kindergarten class. One night our families ran into each other at a local restaurant, and we decided to share a table so that my son, Kobe, and her son could sit together. They were deep in conversation about what cartoon characters were on their underwear, when my son turned to my boss and asked, “So what kind of underpants do you wear?” – Kristie Hall of Texas (June 2006 Parents Magazine)

Some things, even in innocence are hard to talk about, and when someone starts blurting it out people gasp. People’s eyes get big. People call “Foul! You’re out of bounds.” Kinda like putting the word sex on a church sign. When the normal social bounds are breached, it upsets the norm, the safe, the way it always was or the way it should be. So you can rest assured that I did know that I would receive some comments about the series and the church sign. I have to admit I was a little shocked when someone called our house on Friday...FOUR days after changing the sign...I was expecting 2 at the most!

In all seriousness, I thought long and hard about this sermon series. In fact, I’ve been reading commentaries and other books studying for these sermons since November. Starting off I want you to know some things. #1 I take this very seriously. In fact, this is IMHO, one of the more important societal issues that I can preach of, and in light of this, I am aware that the way I speak and preach about it must be very intentional. So I want you to know that I don’t think this is a joke, though I do believe we can have some fun with our uncomfortability with something beautiful and made by God. It’s OK to laugh, I’ll probably laugh some, too, but I do want everyone to know I think this is a big deal.

#2 I’ll be upfront and say this, I believe that the “golden standard,” the Biblical “way”, or simply put it, I believe God created sex to be between one man and one woman who unite their lives for life. I take this from our Genesis reading and the many reflections on marriage within the Biblical text. This belief will shape how I speak of sex, relationships, and love.

#3 Through all of this, I think you’ll find that my emphasis will be on wholeness. A whole and healthy self, whole and healthy relationships with others, and most of all a whole and healthy relationship with God through Jesus Christ.

#4 If you have problems with something I say or do, come see me. And this extends beyond just this topic. Part of being a Christian is offering grace to others. People make each other mad all the time...It’s part of life...However...however, being a Jesus follower means offering grace and forgiveness. So, if I offend you, come talk to me about it. It’s possible the offense is intentional and I’m wanting you to think about something, and that we can agree to disagree...But, maybe, I said something confusing or wrong, and I can then have the opportunity to say I’m sorry.

I just wanted to be clear about these things before we started. I don’t know why because this is such an easy topic, and we should zip right through it....



What & Why
God & Sexuality
The Odd Couple - At first take, I know it may seem completely out of place to talk about God and human sexuality at the same time...especially in a place of worship. However, this Odd Couple do in fact know each other quite well. From the earliest findings of religious iconography, art, and stories, we find that God and Sex are intimately connected. The earliest statues that we can find of gods and goddesses were in fact what we call Fertility Gods...In other words, these items were used in religious ceremonies to promote fertility of crops...livestock...and yes even humans. Some religions even had temple prostitution as part of the religious ceremony. Unfortunately, this still goes on today in places like India.

What’s interesting is that some religions have found the connection between sex and the sacred as well, except their solution is absolute abstinence. Religions like Buddhism and parts of Hinduism and Christianity promote celebacy, or complete abstinence from sex.

So by either extreme or all in between, religions have wrestled with the connection between God and human sexuality. [Read Sex God by Rob Bell beginning middle p. 13 to p. 15 skipping some parts].

Old Testament Soap Opera - But, that’s all just philosophy of religion, what does the Bible say about it. Well, the Bible is full of the subject of human sexuality. Genesis 2, which we read, and which I read at every wedding I do. Unfortunately, we humans don’t always treat our bodies with such respect, and the OT is very open about this. Women desperate to get pregnant sleep with their fathers, men rape women, men raping men, fathers pawn daughters off as property, and kings with 1000’s of mistresses. In the story of Ruth, I hope you know that “feet” is a Hebrew metaphor...go back and reread the story...You’ll find it a bit more shocking. The OT covers the whole gamut of human existence because it is a human document. Yes, inspired by God, but written by humans in a very human world. So, I would like to point out that the OT is NOT shy about the subject. In fact, some of the more graphic sexual imagery in the Bible relate to the metaphor of God as husband and God’s people as wife. Obviously, God saw the connection, too.

New Testament (Read Carefully) - I know that some of you though have a hard time with the OT and look to the NT, which I might warn is a very dangerous thing, but that’s for another sermon on another day. One person who was critical of my sermon titles said, “I don’t think Jesus would be happy with you talking about these things.” Well, who does Jesus hang with...Fishermen, tax collectors and prostitutes...Now let me get this straight: People actually believe that Jesus spent alot of time with prostitutes (and I don’t mean that in any bad way) and sex NEVER came up? Get real. A woman caught in adultery in John 8, and Jesus is right there commenting. Jesus has teachings in all the Gospels about marriage and adultery...and we don’t think Jesus talked about sex? I think you get my drift. But it doesn’t end there, and later on, I’ll use some pretty shocking yet practical statements by St. Paul about marital relations.

Lastly on this point, the metaphor of God’s people, the Church is continued as being the Bride of Christ. And throughout the ages, many, many people have found sacred romance in this relationship. So yes, the Bible does teach that our sexuality is closely related to our understanding and relationship with God because our sexuality is tied so intimately to our own personal wholeness. Let me say that again...the Bible does teach that our sexuality is closely related to our understanding and relationship with God because our sexuality is tied so intimately to our own personal wholeness.

That’s In the Bible!?!
The Song of Songs
“The Most Beautiful Song”
A Timeless Song (of Songs) - Jewish Rabbis have debated the intention of this book for ages. Is it what it appears on the surface? A set of love poetry about two lovers? Or is it an allegory, a story with a hidden meaning telling of God’s love for Israel? There is no clear consensus, and there never has been. What is interesting is that the book, despite which take, was chosen by the Jewish people as Scripture. A famous and ancient rabbi named Akiba once said, “The whole world is not worth the day on which the Song of Songs was given to Israel; for all the Scriptures are holy, but the Song of Songs is the Holy of Holies.”

Christians struggled with the same issue: Is it allegory or love poetry? Origen, a very early Christian theologian, believed that the Beloved woman was the Church and the Lover was Christ.

On the otherhand, John Donne, famous English poet, statesman, and pastor, wrote many love poems just like this. Were they about his wife or Christ? Were they about human romance or divine?

Bernard of Clairvaux, a medieval monk noted for his sermons, wrote 86 distinct sermons on the first 2 chapters of the Song of Songs alone. 86! That’s hard to imagine...but then again he was a monk.

Did you know that the Puritans talked about relationships and sexuality alot. In fact Zig Ziglar says the Puritans “were far more fun-loving than they’ve been accused of being, but they insisted that the pleasures of the flesh be subordinated for and to the greater glory of God. They were not ascetics, and they never even hinted that they wanted to deny or prevent the enjoyment of earthly pleasures.” In fact, he reports that Puritanism was a youthful, highly educated movement. The Puritans revived Cambridge University and founded Harvard only six years after founding the Massachusetts Bay Colony. The Puritans consistently extolled sex within marriage. One Puritan pastor was typical in calling sex “one of the most proper and essential acts of marriage,” to be enjoyed “with goodwill and delight, willingly, readily, and cheerfully.” One congregation even excommunicated a man for sexually neglecting his wife, and believe it or not there were even laws about such things. Hardly the stick-in-the-muds that the Victorians paint for us...Ironically, the Victorians are the ones to think for our culture’s obsessive silence regarding the issue. 1880’s women’s psychology was committing women to insane assylums for the very thing you’d find written on the front of Cosmo magazine, so it’s no surprise that this era began the time of silence in the Church...We don’t talk about it, and as far as we know it doesn’t happen. Not surprisingly, the Song of Songs has hardly been preached...and when it has been, poorly.

Is It Getting Hot In Here?
The Song of Songs
It All Started with a Kiss - In a culture that did not allow public displays of affection, imagine the shock of first time readers when they encounter these words taken literally from the Hebrew: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.” Wow, even in our day, that’s a great way to start a book. Right from the beginning the Songs of Songs is a radical document. It starts with the hunger of a lover’s kiss, but it gets better. But, I’d like to pause, and just point out the power of a kiss. One can stop the world in a moment. A kiss cements the vows of a marriage. A kiss is powerful symbol of love. It has power. If you remember the movie, “Pretty Woman” the call girls teach each other, “Don’t kiss on the lips...don’t make it personal.” A kiss can be treacherous...afterall a kiss can and did betray. Too often, I’ve heard “they were just kissing.” Yeah, and I was just lighting sticks of dynamite, too. A kiss has power because in that one intimate moment, we make ourselves completely vulnerable. In a kiss, there are smells and tastes and touch (notice the wording wine, perfume, mouth). In my opinion, we undervalue this act. We say that it’s OK for teens AND adults to kiss without reflecting on what it means or does. Yet, all of our teaching stories say something different...You ask, “what stories?” Snow White is kissed to life by a prince. Sleeping Beauty is kissed awake by a prince. Ariel has to kiss her true love by Sundown, the toad turns into a prince when kissed, the Beast turns into a prince when kissed by the Beauty. Kisses have power, and the ancients knew this well.
In fact, a large study on what makes marriages last pointed out that only ONE thing was in common between all long lasting marriages, religious, non religious and of different ages and cultures...It was an intimate embrace of a hug and kiss before bed. It ALL starts with a kiss. So the first thing we are confronted with is the power of a kiss.

A Romance...a Wild Romance - Winston Churchill was a member of a Master of Ceremonies club. He won every time there was a contest. He could speak on any topic at any time. They thought they had him one day when without notice they gave him the topic, "sex." He rose and said, "Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure," then he sat down.

I'd like to highlight a couple of interesting lines from the poetry today. The Lover says this in verse 9: "You are as exciting, my darling, as a mare among Pharoah's stallions."

Now today, you'd probably get slapped for calling your girlfriend a horse, but there's actually something to this. You see in ancient Egypt, the most prestigious wing of the military was the chariot corps. They were superbly trained. They were often nobility. They had the best technology of bows and chariots. The horses of the chariot corps were some of the best in the ancient world, and to add to the prestige, Pharoah himself often led the chariot corps. It was his to command and lead into battle for he had a special chariot led by the most beautiful white stallions. It was an awesome sight to behold on the battlefield.

So back to the text. She is a mare among Pharoah's stallions? I don't know how many of you have seen a stallion who is anywhere near a mare in heat, but I assure you this: The stallion goes crazy. Case in point: Once a Canaanite king was being attacked by Egypt, but he had no cavalry or chariot corps of his own...and he came up with a brilliant solution. As Pharoah's chariots were starting to approach, the Canaanite king had a mare in heat run across the battlefield. This lit a fuse under the chariot stallions who went berzerk and could not be controlled by their chariot pilots.

So here's what he's saying: "You, my love, are SO sexy that when you walk by, it's like a mare causing stallions to go crazy." We would say it like this, "You drive ALL the boys wild!" He's not shy in praising her...on the contrary, any meaningful romantic relationship must have physical attraction. He is not vulgar; rather, he is playful and complimentary. His words though come at just the right time...

Missing the Trees in the Forest - For just before this she has put herself down. She speaks of herself being "common." Of not being "fair." But his discourse shoots right through this: He is encouraging her: "No my love, you are beautiful. You are exquisite." And yes, "You are sexy."

Ladies no man is worth your time unless he loves you. And, you young ladeis are who I'm really addressing here: Unless he spends time encouraging you and building you up, he's not worth your time. Now words can be cheap, but over time if a man encourages you and tries to do what is best for you, he's a keeper: however, if it's all about him; if it's all about what he wants; if he gets what he wants and the comments end; he's not worth your time.

A man worth your time has a name that is "like perfume." In other words, he has character. Guys, you want to be an attractive man? Be a man of strength and character. Stand for what is right. Do what is right. Treat women with respect. Encourage others in faith and life.

It's easy to miss some of these finer points of the love story, but they are subtle reminders of what makes a romance...of what truly is...sexy.

I Kissed A Girl and I Liked It - Katie Perry (real name Katie Hudson) - Xtian singer, failed, tried the secular industry, partied, experimented, and wrote a hit song, “I Kissed a Girl, and I Liked It.” This subject is important, in a day when divorce is the norm. Single parents struggle to make ends meet. Teen STD’s are at an all time high (with a caveat that if you ask me later I’ll explain). AIDS is a global killer, and the Church itself is struggling with sexuality.

Why We Must Talk About This
Look around...No, Wait, Don’t... - I intend no offense, but I can’t believe there are people who still believe that the church shouldn’t talk about this. We have to. We’ve tried the silent thing or the “Just don’t do it.” thing for too long. It’s time to wake up and to see humanity and the human experience for all that it is. It’s time to read our Bibles for the first time and see that there is more in there in common with our world than with us, who are in the Church, and that in case you missed it was a slamming indictment. We live in a post-Christian world, and our engagement with culture is needed more than ever. Hiding away not talking about the real world has got the church right where it is today. The quaint Sunday morning social club. It’s time to engage the hard issues, the uncomfortable topics, it’s time to follow Jesus with ALL of our lives...even the private parts of our lives.

Who We Are - I’d like to go back to something that the Song of Songs author and Rob Bell both point out: Our perception of ourselves, our ability to live in our own skin has so very much to do with our sexual lives...and with our relationship with God. I can’t stress this enough. In marriage and in singleness, when we have struggles with relationships and our sexual lives, it’s more about our hearts than anything. And the travesty has been that we can’t talk about things like sex, lust, affairs, pornography, and marital problems...

Bell shares this story...One day his 5 yr. old son asked his wife, “Mom, what does sexy mean?” She thought for a second and then replied, “Sexy is when it feels good to be in your own skin. Your own body feels right, it feels comfortable. Sexy is when you love being you.”
You won’t feel right about this conversation, and you won’t ever feel right with God as a part of the conversation until you are OK with who you are.

And here’s the rub, this way the Church has been dealing with sexual issues, aka SILENCE, won’t ever work because it silence doesn’t deal with the issue, it just hides it.

So I guess you might say that along with Justin Timberlake, I’m trying to bring sexy back. My aim is that in the midst of all of misuse of sex, in a culture that abuses the concept of true love, in a world that uses and throws away people, my aim is to bring up an uncomfortable conversation so that we can deal with the stuff in our lives. So that you can love being you...because Jesus loves you...because God made you wonderfully.

Because I don’t know about you, but I want to feel comfortable in my skin...I want to love being me because God made me in God’s image. That’s why we’re talking about kissing in church. We’re bringing sexy back!

Never Stop Starting Over!

Scripture Reading: Romans 6:1-11
Scripture Text: Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

Who here today made New Year's Resolutions? OK, wow, about half. Of those of you who didn't, how many of you were just ambivalent to the concept? OK, now how may of you were like, "New Year's Resolutions, NO Way!!!" New Year's Day resolutions have a big part of our celebration of the New Year. But did you know that New Year’s Resolutions can be traced back to the ancient Babylonians. They had some of the very same ones that we had...you know like being successful, getting life in order, giving back borrowed farm equipment...that sort of stuff!

Resolutions
New Years’ Resolutions - One man who proudly made New Year’s Resolutions boasted, “There’s nothing like getting up at six in the morning, going for a run around the park, and taking a brisk shower before breakfast.” His friend replied, “Wow, how long have you been doing this?” To which he replied, “I start tomorrow.”
Janus - January is the start of the new year as we all know, but did you know that January is named after the Roman god “Janus.” Now Janus had one head with two faces...one looking back and one looking forward. What a great name for the first month of a new year. New Year’s Day is so much about looking backward at the year or years past and reflecting. Do we like where we’ve been? How we look? How we’ve succeeded? How we lived? But like Janus, January has another face that looks ahead...What do we want the new year to bring? What do I want to accomplish? How do I want to live differently.

New Starts - A New Year means a new start...a sort of wiping the slate clean...What if we really could have this? A wiping of the slate clean? What if we really could start the year with a new start, a clean start, with the power to live the abundant life. I stand here today to tell you that you can.

The Struggle
Habits & “What We Do” - Now I know some of you might be saying, but Mark, we’ve tried this. We’ve done the New Years’ Resolutions, we tried the fad diets, the short-lived exercise programs, we’ve given up cigarettes for a few days, we’ve spent the money on books and classes to help our stagnated career.

I don't think this was about Tom, but I'm sure he can relate to it....At the beginning of a New Year, a high school principal decided to post his teachers' New Year's resolutions on the bulletin board. As the teachers gathered around the bulletin board, a great commotion started. One of the teachers was complaining. "Why weren't my resolutions posted?" She was throwing such a temper tantrum that the principal hurried to his office to see if he had overlooked her resolutions. Sure enough, he had mislaid them on his desk. As he read her resolutions he was astounded. This teacher's first resolution was not to let little things upset her in the New Year.

Writer Ed McManus has some words of comfort for those of us who set resolutions: "Don't worry about [keeping] those 2009 News Year's resolutions," he says. "You only have to deal with them until February and then you can give them up for Lent."

I don't know how you are doing on your New Year's resolutions, but my prayer is that you are having success in your faith resolutions...But, I also know that those are difficult struggles too.

Alot of us have stuff in our lives we’d like to get rid of...A volatile temper, a sharp tongue, a gossiping whisper, a deceitful mind, a greedy heart, a lusting body, a gluttonous stomach. Often, too we know that these things are things we should change, things that we’d like to change. But it’s hard isn’t it. Afterall, the anger comes when we’re stressed and tired. The sharp tongue comes in defense of an attack, the alcohol calms me down...and all that holiday food was just WAY TOO GOOD to resist! There are lots of excus...I mean reasons why we haven’t changed...But perhaps we’ve never really, and I mean really, tried...Maybe it’s time for a new start.

Training Elephants - Don’t get me wrong, many of us have experienced the set backs. Like our joking of New Year’s resolutions, we’re almost trained to expect failure. We’ve been trained like elephants. You see the circus ties baby elephants to tent pegs. Try as they might these baby elephants can’t pull the tent pegs out; however, the crazy thing is that adult elephants, with the power to pull out three pegs, don’t even try to resist when they are roped to the pegs...you see from a young age these elephants have struggled and lost against the pegs...They don’t realize they now have the power pull free.

I think alot of us have experienced just that. We have our tent pegs holding us down and pulling us back. Sins that entangle and ensnare. Habits or sometimes lack of habits that we have struggled against for so long, we’ve pretty much given up.

Tar Babies - Some of us though experience a different struggle, which I call the Tar Baby. The story is based on Uncle Remus’ stories where Br’er Rabbit, arrogant and impetuous is tricked by Br’er Bear and Br’er Fox. Br’er Rabbit gets mad when this “man” sitting on a log won’t speak to him, so he hits him, but his fist gets stuck. Unfuriated, he hits him again, but now the other hand is stuck...A kick, another. A headbutt, and eventually, his entire body is stuck to blob of tar, and soon Br’er Rabbit is facing a hungry bear and fox boiling water in anticipation of rabbit stew. You see there are some things that the more we fight with, the more stuck we get. Addictions, unfortunately often fall into these categories. The more we’ve resisted, the more failures we’ve amassed, depressed, and drinking again from the bottle, overeating, or shopping.
***It’s time for a new start.

The Victory - Fred Craddock once told a parable about a man who moved into a cottage equipped with a stove and simple furnishings. As the sharp edge of winter cut across the landscape, the cottage grew cold as did its occupant. He went out back and pulled a few boards off the house to kindle the fire. The fire was warm, but the house seemed as cold as before. More boards came off for a larger fire to warm the now even colder house, which in return required an even larger fire, demanding more boards. In a few days the man cursed the weather, cursed the house, cursed the stove, and moved away.
The Failure of Give & Take - If we want to truly have a new start and have victory in our lives...If we really want to live the new and abundant life, we have to recognize that we don’t have the power within us to conquer all. We can’t give to ourselves victory. We can’t take from ourselves the struggle against our own flesh. The very first act of faith is the recognition that we need God. The beginning of New Life is dying to ourselves.

New Life - The Resurrection of Jesus could only come after the death, and our victory over our struggles can only come after giving our life to Jesus. Romans 6:9-11 says, [read it]. Are you ready to live a new life? Are you really ready for a new start? Start at the foot of the Cross, where God is proclaiming love...His love for you.

Is The Power On? - There was a man who went into a hardware store with a chain saw. He threw the chain saw down at the store owner''s feet and said, "This is a piece of junk. You told me that I could cut down forty trees a day, and I couldn''t cut down any more than three." The owner said, "Well, maybe the teeth on the saw need to be sharpened." Once that was done, the man took the saw back home, only to return three days later. The man said, "It''s still a piece of junk. It''s a little bit better, but not much. Now I can only cut down five trees a day and you said I could cut down forty. I want my money back." The store owner responded, "I really don''t understand it. This is a good piece of equipment. Let''s try it." The owned pulled the starter rope and the chain saw started right up. The man looked at it, surprised, and said, "What in the world is that noise?" Too often that's us isn't it...those of us who come to church every Sunday, who proclaim, "Jesus is Lord of my life"....yet we are still stuck living in old ways, worldly ways, feeling unable to change or feel the power of new life!

The New Life is about living a new life in the Spirit of God. For it is the Spirit that gives us power. 2 Timothy 1:7 says, “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” When we accept God into our lives, we accept this Spirit of Power to dwell within us. Often, it’s said we invite Jesus into our hearts, theologically speaking, we accept Jesus as Lord and receive the Holy Spirit in our lives. God within us, the power of God, the Spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.

New Starts - Resolutions are good, especially if there are changes we need to make in our lives. I heard about one poor guy who dialed his girlfriend and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

Not Resolutions...Revolutions! - There was another guy who decided to make only resolutions this year he could keep. He resolved to gain weight, to stop exercising, to read less and watch more TV, to procrastinate more, to quit giving money and time to charity, to not date any swimsuit model, and to never make New Year's resolutions again.

Maybe he's onto something...Perhaps, what we need is not another resolution, but a revolution. We need a turning point in our lives. Today can be that day. We’re just into the start of a New Year, and I felt that I should wait for this sermon...3 weeks into the year, the resolutions are failing (or never began), and the routine is setting back in...but it doesn’t have to.

Today I declare you free. Free from every rut, from every routine, from every sin that so easily entangles, and by the authority of Jesus given to his followers I say this, “Let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily entangles, and let us us run the race God has set before us. And we have the power to do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith!”

I close with this story...

Living Who We Are - Rabbi Marc Gafni recalls one of the first bar mitzvahs he ever performed. It was for a boy named Louis. Louis was awkward and sad. His insensitive parents did little to encourage his self-esteem. They implied that he was too dumb to learn the traditional Hebrew passages a boy recites for his bar mitzvah.

Rabbi Gafni was determined to bring out the best in Louis. He spent extra time teaching him the songs and prayers. He discovered that Louis was smart, and had a fantastic singing voice. On the day of his bar mitzvah, Louis performed beautifully. At the end of the ceremony, Rabbi Gafni stood and spoke directly to Louis. He said, "Louis, this morning you met your real self. This is who you are. You are good, graceful, talented, and smart. Whatever people told you yesterday, and Louis, whatever happens tomorrow, promise me one thing. Remember . . . this is you. Remember, and don't ever lose it."

A few years later, Louis wrote to Rabbi Gafni. The boy whose parents predicted that he was too dumb to perform a traditional bar mitzvah was studying for his medical degree at an Ivy League university. He was also engaged to be married. Louis ended his letter by saying, ". . . I kept my promise---I always remembered my bar mitzvah morning when you said that this is who I am. For this, I thank you."

Never Stop
Starting Over! - Brothers and sisters, you have been joined with Jesus in baptism, and you are children of God. Galatians 3:26 says, “You are children of God through faith in Jesus Christ.” Remember who you are. Remember that in Jesus you can have a fresh start, a new beginning. Each day is a new day. Each year is a new year. I implore you on God’s behalf, Don’t ever, ever, EVER stop starting over...for you have a new life.